You dropping me off at my apartment with the lingering conversation of our first loves in the air.
You became real to me that weekend. (Was it this weekend too I learned I'm not just 1 but years older than you... still a shocker! It's your wisdom girl, not your looks!)
Before that it was the comings and goings of Sunday and maybe Wednesday worship. I was intimidated, did I ever tell you?
In looking back it doesn't surprise me that it is your worship that still stands strong in my mind 8 years later. That hasn't gone anywhere... so you.
I write because I had a moment tonite, in the midst of listening to Matthew West sing "The Heart of Christmas" at our Christmas concert... and maybe it was the texting we've done this week and you were fresh on my heart... but that song faded out at some point and in its place, for what reason I don't know, the thought of my life without you enveloped me and my stomach sank, my breath must have ceased, for I began feeling my heartbeat in my head. And almost as quickly as it came the thought left and is now marked as a humbling awareness of how great the treasure God graciously buried deeply within me when he gave me you.
And I write tonite to shout it out, my thanks to God for you. This one who I find so easy to lay it all bare for, for she seems to love all of me, good and bad, lifting in my failings and whose presence further grows my joys. How her prayers, not just continue to echo, but powerfully paint pictures for me that so easily fall into my ears depositing for later use, or not so later.
God has gifted you with eyes that see my battles on the horizon and over and over he uses you to prepare me for war. You pursued the new for me in the midst of my shattered, like he gave you a script, and you patiently walked w/ me start to finish, held my hand until my feet could move. Faithfully let go for all the times I had to walk alone. You give unsugar-coated love and encourage without flattery. It's beautiful and real. And you're so often just a hoot... telling it how it is with your "Girl!" and "Whoooaa" or "Stink!"... I can hear you as you share about your children, joking about the trying times, all the while knowing you are a mom who seeks out every last gem God's put in them, sacrifice doesn't scare you.
When you come to mind, I often picture you at your kitchen table, lunch time or your lunch time whenever that might fall with your two busy littles... and you soaking up your convo time w/ God, in his Word and probably I see you there b/c that is what you so often are pouring back out into me.
Such a gift. I am thankful for the dark thought tonite, it sparked this letter, and so awesome the reminder that our friendship flame glows for always.
Illinois
